On ‘Loss’

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How do we lose something?  We must claim ownership first yes? Do we really own anything? Our things, our cars, how about our homes?

Did you know, that even if you “own your home” as in debt free (mortgage paid in full) and you  don’t pay your taxes, it will be taken away from you?

Even your body that you claim is yours must be given up  and returned when it’s lease is up.

Money comes and goes, things break, rust and deteriorate, nothing lasts forever. We don’t own anything that is physical, we only borrow them – we are basically fortunate  that we get to use them.

That is why it perplexes me when people identify who they are with these things, things that aren’t real.

What is real then? What truly matters is not physical and tangible- it can’t be taken away, and one can’t boast nor compete with it to another.  Integrity, trust, love, joy etc.

Change is something that is real, yet change is the only thing that doesn’t change. I was debating on titling  this blog “Change” and not “On Loss.” I may indeed do another blog on change that will cover more depth and scope.

Perhaps Loss is paramount to me more so now because my mother has recently passed, and the building that my family business has resided in for the last 40 strong years will be torn down to make way for a monstrous and expensive  condominium tower.

So called ‘Loss’ is all around me, my life is literally falling away from me…… It is changing. If even a 1/4 of what I’ve been going through now had happened to me even just a couple of years ago…. I’d be totally devastated. This is not so now.
I can’t say that it has been easy, not at all- however I can say that I have calmness, trust and compassion instead of panic fear and anger.

We don’t have claim to any-thing, nor do we own any-thing.  Change is a 100% certainty. We only suffer and experience pain because we are holding on to what we are afraid to lose.

The harder we hang on to it, the more pain we experience. By letting go, we allow the change to free us from what has been hindering us- and what no longer serves our highest good.

Hanging on to things that we feel define us ; be it cash, property, automobiles, clothes or whatever- is based on fear. Fear of losing the thing(s) that we have invested in for our sense of worth…. our identity.  This is loss.

We cannot lose anything because we truly don’t own anything. When we get past the competing and the winning concept and start realizing that everything is given for us to use and not to own (and can be taken away in an instant)…..Then we will know that everything is truly ours…inherently.

We are like monkeys in cages with our filled hands clenching the peanuts outside of the bars. We are trying to pull them back in yet not being able to because our fist won’t fit back through.
If we’d only let go and gently slip our hand back instead of banging it painfully.  We would realize that instead of being greedy we could enjoy the peanuts slowly, one by one and there be enough for all.

My intent here is not saying that money and things are negative or bad….. Not in the least!!!! They afford us life experiences, freedom, fun  and comforts which are very important.  It’s just not the end game or goal to achieve fulfillment  and happiness.

Change leads to growth and how quickly we adapt to that change is how fast we grow. Holding on (being afraid of “Loss”) is when pain and suffering occur.
Being Great(full) and Appreciating what we have no matter what it is- Trusting and Allowing  what is and what is to Be……


Frank Dee

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