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Is life predestined or do we have choice?

Can we affect what happens to us, or are we just responding to a set fate?

Honestly, I couldn’t tell you. I myself believe that we all have some set purpose here, however we decide how we get there. It is how we choose to respond to our experiences. Who we decide to be with and how we let them treat us.

We can blame our parents, teachers, coaches, friends and relatives for our situation,  we can even blame God. Or if you want to get really creative we can blame the stars and astrology, yet even craftier is karma… While I sincerely believe that all I’ve stated above does profoundly affect us, I feel it would be wise to take responsibility and to choose ownership of it all instead of blame.

We can say ‘Yes’ or we can say ‘No’ to any-thing. We can choose to face it head on (heal/fix), fight it (revenge/destroy) or deny it ever happened (cover it up), what do you choose?

I’d like to share some examples of how we do this:

Life is good, things are peaceful and loving, everything is kind of ok. Then eventually the shit hits the fan and some sort of tragedy strikes.

We have choices…  do you choose to believe in love, trust, acceptance and that there is a reason and a higher plan for all this? Do you believe that there is a bigger picture in all this and that there are profound lessons to be learned?

Or do you let all the shit get to you?

Do you choose to see all the crap that you’re going through as just a long story of continuous B.S? Do you perceive that life actually sucks and stop trusting and loving? Do you choose that you will not be fooled again, nor allow yourself to be vulnerable ever again? Do you conclude that life is basically a survival of the fittest and that the weak are naive fools? Or that people who believe in a formless god and have faith in a fantasy/dream, are just out to lunch and need to wake up? They almost irritate you, don’t they? Some of you like ridiculing them just to prove to them how weak and mislead they are. Life won’t give you any favours, so it is up to you to take what you need and to heck with the hippie dippy crap!?


Do you avoid and deny the situation all together and convince yourself that it never happened?

You can try drinking it away, eating it away, buying it away… or anything that gives you enough pleasure to numb it gone. Sex, drugs, self harm or anything that gives you short-term pleasure or distraction while secretly knowing that it will ultimately harm you.

You can seek  and hang out with others that will support  both of your “everything is ok” stories.  The ones that couldn’t handle it either and that also pretend that  nothing happened. As long as neither of you call bullshit on each other, everything is ok.

We can choose to be a victim and complain about all the injustices done unto us. We too seek out others that will support our ‘poor me’ story and hang out with the ‘misery loves company’ company.

These choices are not cut and dry, and I feel that we graze between all of them. However I do feel that we choose one main perspective and navigate through our experiences with this filter.

All these attempts are to try and gain or give up control, to make sense of what is happening. It’s folly to think of all this as a puzzle to figure out, because then we will only get  another curve ball that can set us back again. We cannot control how others react to us or what they think of us. We are responsible for our thoughts, our emotions, and our actions.

We can either crack or we can have a breakthrough.

The ‘Choice” is yours


Frank Dee

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